Queen Turei the Magnificent walked into her presidential library in Tureina. It had been a short drive from the state house where she had just presided over the weekly Executive meeting of the Kingdom of Negeria.
She took a glance at the cashew trees; she recalled planting them 20 years ago, when Negeria was still a republic, it made her smile, but it also stiffened her, it made her remember her motto in life, keep pushing until something happens. KPUSH. That motto has made her the richest and most powerful women in Africa, Queen Turei preferred to be called the richest woman in the World but her handlers knew that one of her daughters who had been the minister of petroleum for 20years and had carved out a state for herself out of Bachi was far richer, but they kept mum.
Queen Turei had always pushed, when she saw her brother in law and father in law enter politics she pushed Maru to get into politics, she silly man wanted to become a chemistry lecturer she chuckled. When unfortunately her Brother in law died in jail, she pushed Maru to take up the family mantle to govern Tureina. Maru absence for medical reasons had enabled her to enter into the world of Negeria governance, and she discovered a dark secret about men. They would do anything for money. Money was important to her, but that someone was willing to forgo future wealth for immediate cash was a lesson she attached t her KPUSH mantra.
She had planned to teach the manta to her sons for them to apply, but suddenly in the dead of night a phone call came in from BOJ, Maru had taken the call he was surprised, then more surprised, then a bit happy. curious she asked him “who was that” “oh he replied “ it was BOJ, he asked me if i wanted to become the president, i told hem i had already gotten a letter of appointment to teach Chemistry in University, i said i would consider it” that was the first time she got a heart attack. She scrambled, called BOJ back and said of course Maru was interested in the job, of course his Doctors had declared him fit, and Maru became President, Just like that.
That Presidency has tested her wits, it had started off well enough, Maru had as usual gone academic with the agenda thing, he had even managed to bring truce to the Neger Delta, and then it all changed, Maru “issue” started again. The Western hospitals said yes come over, but she was worried about their pesky freedom of information ideas, they might give some idiot online paper an interview. So she went to where reporters were not allowed; Saudi Arabia. She had hoped the folks in Abaja would take care of things, but the common folk kept asking for see Maru, to talk to Maru some even asked he write some letter! Did they elect him? What was their business? She simply ignored them.
When she was awaken with news that Lady Pat was now the acting First lady, it made her decision easy. She drew on all the tenets of KPUSH and her knowledge of men, the funds in the appropriations bill she had signed came into use. She brought back Maru for them, abi they want him to come back? Well he is back.
She then moved quickly, she got 3 months to allow Maru rest, she used the courts to change the rules, and Lady Pat was made the Second lady again. She adopted 36 new daughters, and married them off to 36 young men in 36 states and simply sent to names to Owu, he knew how to get them elected as Governors. She then went to the PaDP and asked for an early election, she asked her bankers to give anyone with a title in Abaja $10million each, and by May it was done. Her son-in-law was the candidate for the Presidency, Andoakaa was made his running mate, it was a landslide, the Senators and Honourables, Judges, Press and Army were busy buying houses in Dubai and UK, they did nit interface.
She promptly made her son in law appoint her Senate President, it was really too easy, “Ghana Must Go” flowed and the Constitution was changed, and only Senators and Honourables could contest elections into the Presidency, of course she being the Senate President was first in line, by 2014 she was President and Commander in Chief.
She zoned the Armed Forces and police to the North, Civil service and Judiciary to the West and Commerce and Banking to the East, she was being equitable she opined. She eliminated the federal character principle and appointed her daughters Min of Finance, Petroleum and CBN Governor. She passed a freedom of Information bill hence all newspapers, radio and TV stations were banned, “since freedom is free, why should anybody make profit from it?” To sanitise the banking system she closed the entire banks apart from one, the Turei Trust Bank, she directed all foreign reserves be transferred there, federation units, and customers doing business with Negeria were mandated to open accounts there. “Well its easier for the CBN to inspect one bank, we have killed off bank failures” she said
all new bank notes now bore the image of Queen Turei, as she said this was to only was to ensure it was not faked. she made supreme courts justices a life time appointment, reduced the judges to two and appointed her adopted daughters as the first Supreme court justices, “it was to empower women she said, the UN had mandated it in the MDG”.
By 2022, she sent a resolution to the Parliament to convert Negeria into a Monarchy, As usual the people had shouted, wrote editorials, went on marches, went to court etc she just smiled. The Parliament by voice vote affirmed her request , Turei, became Her Royal Excellency, Field Marshal, Dr, Chief, Eng, Queen Turei the Magnificent, MNI, PSS, Queen of Negeria and West Africa excluding Ghena .
It was now 2030, the federal capital had been moved to Tureina, as it was nearer to Seudi Arebia, she had solved the power problem by banning Air Conditioners s and Deep freezers, “AC are ruining the ozone layer”, she said. She had solved unemployment by hiring everybody into the federal civil service, to get a salary, you than had to swear an oath of allegiance, not to her but to her office ooh! Education was free, as no one went to school anymore, as everyone was guaranteed a job in the civil service. She sometimes wondered why men who taught they were smarter could not manage to solve these “problems”.
But today in the Turei Presidential library, she was on a peacekeeping mission, her daughters were fighting again, these girls were really embarrassing her, first it was about which states they wanted as 15 year wedding anniversary gifts, then it was about who would get to monopoly to import petrol and shut down NNPC, she was tired. One daughter had had asked the mint to put her picture on the other side of the N1,000,000,000 note, another then simply asked them to create a N1,000,000,000, 000 note and put her picture.
She signed as she opened the door to meet with her warring daughters, it was her problem, and she would fix it.
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